I Love My Baby But I’m Struggling: The Most Common Thoughts Moms Don’t Say Out Loud
Hey, Shameless Mamas - Let’s Talk about Maternal Mental Health
Motherhood is a wild, beautiful, and often overwhelming journey. And if you’re reading this, chances are you love your baby fiercely — but you’re also struggling with postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, or feelings of overwhelm you didn’t expect. You’re not alone. Many new moms wrestle with thoughts they keep locked away because they’re afraid of judgment, shame, or being seen as a “bad mom.”
Here’s the truth: those difficult postpartum thoughts don’t make you a bad mom. They make you human.
1. “I Love My Baby, But I’m So Exhausted I Can’t Function”
Sleep deprivation and chronic fatigue after birth are brutal. They hijack your brain, fray your patience, and make everything harder. The exhaustion isn’t just physical — it chips away at your emotional resilience. You might feel guilty admitting how worn out you are, but acknowledging postpartum exhaustion is the first step toward healing and finding support.
2. “Sometimes I Feel Numb or Disconnected From My Baby”
Bonding isn’t automatic or constant for everyone. Feeling disconnected, numb, or detached from your newborn is more common than many moms realize. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby — it means your brain and body are still adjusting to the postpartum period. Opening up about this can break the silence and lead to healing postpartum attachment.
3. “I’m Overwhelmed and Don’t Know How to Ask for Help”
Being a new mom often means feeling like you have to do it all yourself. But the reality is that asking for postpartum support isn’t weakness — it’s survival. Whether it’s help with household chores, meals, or simply a listening ear, reaching out can ease your burden and remind you that motherhood doesn’t have to be lonely.
4. “I Have Intrusive or Scary Thoughts About My Baby or Myself”
Intrusive thoughts are terrifying but extremely common in postpartum mental health challenges like postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD. These thoughts don’t mean you want to hurt your baby — they’re the brain’s way of processing stress and fear. Talking openly about intrusive thoughts reduces their power and shame. Thoughts are not actions,
5. “I Feel Like I’m Failing Because Motherhood Isn’t What I Imagined”
Social media and culture often paint motherhood as pure joy and bliss, which sets impossible standards. When your postpartum experience is messy, exhausting, or full of contradictions, it can feel like you’re failing. But embracing the messy truth is the path to authentic connection and self-compassion during postpartum recovery.
Why Silence Is Dangerous — And Why Speaking Out Matters
When moms hide these postpartum thoughts and feelings, shame and isolation grow. Postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and birth trauma thrive in silence. Breaking the stigma with honest conversations saves lives and transforms how we support new mothers.
You are not broken. You are not alone. And you deserve postpartum care, kindness, and community.
How to Start Talking About What You’re Feeling
Find a trusted postpartum therapist or perinatal mental health specialist.
Share honestly with a partner or close friend — vulnerability can deepen connection.
Write your thoughts down privately to process and clarify your feelings.
Remember: asking for postpartum help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is complicated, hard, and beautiful — often all at the same time. Giving yourself permission to feel everything, including the tough parts, is a radical act of self-love. You don’t have to pretend or “power through.” You can ask for support, talk openly, and find healing.
If you’re struggling with postpartum anxiety, depression, or intrusive thoughts, reach out. You’re worthy of care. Your feelings are valid. And you’re doing an incredible job, even on the hardest days.
Ready to start your healing journey? Contact Shameless Mama Wellness today to schedule a free consultation.
With Warmth and in Solidarity,
Marilyn
I provide a safe haven to discuss the thoughts you keep hidden.
As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I offer many services utilizing evidence-based treatments. Some services at Shameless Mama Wellness include treatment for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, birth trauma therapy, fertility counseling, therapy for miscarriage and loss, pregnancy therapy and treatment for NICU PTSD.
