Not All Intrusive Thoughts Are Dangerous—Let’s Talk About Them

Hey, Shameless Mamas - Let’s Talk about Maternal Mental Health

Let’s get real: Motherhood cracks you wide open. One moment, you're in awe of your baby's soft breath and tiny fingers. The next, you’re imagining the worst possible thing happening. Maybe you see yourself tripping while holding the baby. Maybe you picture harm coming to them. Or maybe the thought is even more disturbing—so much so that you’re terrified to say it out loud.

You might be thinking: What’s wrong with me? Am I unsafe? Is this postpartum psychosis?

Here’s the truth:

Intrusive thoughts are common.
They do not mean you’re a bad mother.
And no, you’re not dangerous.

In fact, talking about these thoughts is one of the most important things you can do for your postpartum mental health.

Let’s break the silence and dismantle the shame.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing, often bizarre or violent thoughts that pop into your mind without warning. They are usually inconsistent with your values and cause a deep sense of fear, disgust, or guilt.

Examples might include:

• What if I drop the baby?

• What if I accidentally hurt them during a diaper change?

• What if I lose control and scream or shake them?

• What if I stab them with the kitchen knife I’m holding?

If these feel scary to read, imagine how isolating they feel to experience—especially when you're too ashamed to tell anyone.

But here’s what I want you to know:

Having a thought is not the same as wanting to act on it.

Most new mothers (yes, even the ones who look like they have it all together) experience intrusive thoughts at some point postpartum.

The Psychology Behind Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are actually a function of anxious, protective brain wiring.

They show up when your brain is scanning for danger—trying to anticipate every threat so you can prevent it. It’s your nervous system on overdrive, not a reflection of your morality or safety.

In fact, the more these thoughts horrify you, the more they are a sign of anxiety—not intent.

Intrusive Thoughts vs. Postpartum Psychosis

This is a critical distinction. Many moms fear that scary thoughts mean they are “going crazy” or will lose custody of their baby.

Let’s be clear:

• Intrusive thoughts (common) are ego-dystonic, meaning they feel disturbing and unwanted.

• Postpartum psychosis (very rare) involves delusional thinking, hallucinations, or an actual break from reality.

If you’re afraid of the thoughts, that’s typically a good sign—it means you’re grounded in reality and deeply committed to your child’s safety.

Still, you shouldn’t have to carry the weight of these thoughts alone.

Why Talking About Intrusive Thoughts Matters

When we keep these thoughts hidden, shame grows. But when we speak them aloud—to a therapist, a support group, or even a trusted partner—they lose their grip.

Therapy offers a safe, confidential place to:

• Normalize what you’re experiencing

• Learn tools to reduce anxiety and obsessive thinking

• Address underlying perfectionism or trauma

• Rebuild trust in yourself as a mother

At Shameless Mama Wellness, we don’t flinch at intrusive thoughts—we welcome them. We unpack them with compassion and curiosity, not fear.

Therapy Approaches That Help

Several therapy models are especially effective for managing intrusive thoughts and postpartum anxiety:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Helps you identify distorted thinking patterns and reframe them without shame.

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)

A gold-standard treatment for OCD that teaches your brain how to tolerate distress without spiraling.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

Especially helpful if your intrusive thoughts are linked to birth trauma or previous trauma.

Somatic Therapy

Works with your nervous system to help you feel safe in your body again.

If you’re experiencing intense, repetitive thoughts and it’s interfering with your sleep, bonding, or peace of mind—help is available.

You're Not Broken—You're Just Overwhelmed

Motherhood isn’t always bliss. It’s biologically intense, psychologically overwhelming, and often isolating. Intrusive thoughts are not a sign of failure. They’re a sign that your mind is trying to protect what matters most to you.

So instead of hiding them, let’s shine a light.

You are not the first mother to have these thoughts—and you absolutely won’t be the last.

Ready to Talk?

If you're a California mother silently suffering under the weight of intrusive thoughts, you deserve safe, shame-free support. I’m a licensed postpartum therapist and trauma specialist with advanced training in perinatal mental health. I offer virtual therapy for moms throughout California, from the coast to the desert to the mountains.

You’re not crazy. You’re not dangerous. You’re just human—and you’re not alone anymore.

Ready to start your healing journey? Contact Shameless Mama Wellness today to schedule a free consultation.

With Warmth and in Solidarity,
Marilyn

I provide a safe haven to discuss the thoughts you keep hidden.

As a Postpartum Therapist in California, I offer many services utilizing evidence-based treatments. Some services at Shameless Mama Wellness include treatment for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, birth trauma therapy, fertility counseling, therapy for miscarriage and loss, pregnancy therapy and treatment for NICU PTSD.